Dumb Blone Jokes (Set 1)

A blonde and her brunette friend were talking, when the blonde said, "I hate all the blonde jokes people tell."

"Oh, they are only jokes. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you."

They went outside and hailed a taxi driver.

"Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I'm home," said the brunette.

The taxi drove them to Nickel Street, and when they finally got out, the brunette looked at the blonde and said, "See! That guy was really stupid."

"No kidding," replied the blonde. "There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead."

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A woman explains to the doctor, "When I touch my arm,
ouch, it hurts. When I touch my leg, ouch, it hurts.
When I touch my head, ouch, it hurts. When I touch my
chest, ouch, it hurts."

The doctor just shakes his head and asks, "You're a
natural blond, aren't you?"

The woman smiles and says, "Why, yes I am. How
did you know?"

The doctor replies, "Because your finger is broken."

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A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss, concerned about all his employees' well being,
asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?"

To which the blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a
phone call saying that my mother had passed away."

The boss, feeling very sorry at this point, explains to
the young girl, "Why don't you go home for the day. We
aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and
rest."

The blonde very calmly states, "No, I'd be better off
here. I need to keep my mind off it, and I have the best
chance of doing that here."

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual,
"If you need anything, just let me know."

Well, a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on
the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the
blonde hysterically crying.

He rushes out to her asking, "What's so bad now? Are you
going to be OK?"

"No!" exclaims the blonde. "I just got a call from my
sister. She told me that HER mom died too!"


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A blonde returned home from work and was shocked to
find her house ransacked and burglarized. She called the
police immediately to report the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels
and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on
a leash, the blonde ran out onto the porch. The sight of
the cop and his dog made her shudder. She put her face
in her hands as she sat down on the steps and began
moaning.

"What's the moaning all about, ma'am?" asked the
officer.

The blonde replied, "I come home to find all my
possessions stolen, so I call the police for help, and
what do they do? They send me a blind policeman!"

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11 people were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcrop on Mount Everest. Ten were blonde, one was a brunette. As a group they decided that one of the party should let go. If that didn't happen the rope would break and everyone would perish.

For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered. Finally the brunette gave a truly touching speech saying she would sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others.

The blondes applauded.

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The blonde wife came home from her first day commuting into the city. Her husband noticed she was looking a little peaked and asked, 'Honey, are you feeling all right?'

'Not really,' she replied. 'I'm nauseous from sitting backward on the train.'

'Poor dear,' he said. 'Why didn't you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while?'

'I couldn't,' she replied, 'there was no one there.'